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#210 Making new girlfriends in your 30's and 40's

When you’re young, making friends is relatively easy. You start kindergarten and ask the girl sitting by the blocks if she wants to be your best friend forever. She says “yes” and that’s it. You have a best friend. If you’re lucky, you will have her for life. But things happen, people move away, some change schools, and sometimes you grow apart. If you’re lucky enough, you get to go to summer camp and live with a dozen girls for a full month or two. When you live together, sharing toiletries, boy problems, and gas, you get close pretty quickly. You’re together all day during a variety of activities such as sailing, tennis, arts and crafts, pottery, canoe and kayak. But the canoe trip is when the most bonding happens. With a group goal of surviving the trip without being eaten by a bear, you need to work together to paddle throughout the day to get to the next camp site, find firewood to make dinner, wash the pots and pans thoroughly so that the bears don’t pick up the scent, and pack up all your belongings before heading out for another full day. It takes teamwork, which creates a bonding experience. As you get older, most likely, you are no longer going to camp and school is finished. You can make friends at work, but it’s not the same intense bonding experience.

What does create a similar bonding experience? Doing a musical show! You’ve got hours of rehearsal. You need to listen to each other to find your notes. And you end up seeing each other naked while in the dressing room, taping each other with microphones. It’s an intense bonding experience with people who share your passion. I’ve been lucky enough in my thirties and forties to meet some incredible women, who, luckily enough, live close to me see we can continue our friendship after the shows are done. Maybe music isn’t your thing. But find a hobby that is, and join a group - because finding a crew of people who share your passion and become lifelong friends CHANGES EVERYTHING!


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