top of page

#141 Unbuttoning your pants after Thanksgiving dinner

You’ve gotten together with all the people you love to eat, drink, and give thanks to all you have, which apparently, research shows is beneficial for you mental and physical health; hence the reason why I’m writing this book. Thanksgiving means a lot of food. We know this. So it becomes a little more manageable when you decide to go potluck styles, and everyone participates with the best dish they can make. This leads to a variety of the best of the best, which is totally amazing and completely destructive at the same time because there isn’t enough room on your plate for everything. The famous Thanksgiving turkey makes it way on to your plate (obviously). But then there are the succulent meatballs, which you place on top of the stuffing a) to conserve space on your plate, and b) because when the meatballs and sauce are blended with the stuffing, you’ve created one of the best experiences in your mouth. You’ve got the sweet potato pie with cornflakes on top, a delicious bean salad that is also healthy, and your hosts famous salad which deserves to have its own side plate. You throw on a few roasted vegetables (three) just to be polite to the friend who brought them. But real estate on your plate must be reserved for only the best. Your plate now full, you sit down at the table, ensuring that your jeans are sitting nicely below your waist, and slowly pace yourself. This is about the journey, not the destination. And you don’t want to peak too early and be in discomfort within twenty minutes. Should you have worn pants with an elastic band? Probably. But it’s too late now to ask one of your friends to borrow her maternity pants. So you take it nice and easy while enjoying the conversation around the table. Half an hour later, your plate is clean and you’re seated back in your chair wondering how long you need to continue engaging in conversation before you can retire to the couch. You wait another ten minutes and then slowly remove yourself from the table and sneak out to the living room, where you lay down on your back giving your belly ample breathing room. But it’s just not enough. So when you look around the room to see if anyone’s watching and then unbutton the top button of your jeans, THAT CHANGES EVERYTHING!


bottom of page