This one isn’t for everyone, I recognize. But for those of you whose interest I’ve peaked, here’s what you need to know. For starters, you can’t just dump a bag of seasoning on the popcorn and think you’re good to go. You could run the risk of putting on too much, which completely ruins the popcorn altogether. Then there is the distribution factor. You’ll want each piece of your buttery treat to be covered with just the right amount of ketchup seasoning. And this is no easy task. There are steps involved that will lead you to the right path. Follow these and you’ll be in ketchup popcorn heaven, never to return again to just a regular bag:
1. As you wait at the confectionary stand for the ubiquitous socially awkward teen to ring up your popcorn and drink (and Glossette raisins if you should ever go to a movie with me) kindly ask him for a package of the ketchup seasoning. It’s kind of like using the secret password to get into the hottest new club you’ve been dying to get into.
2. Find your seat and put the bag of popcorn down on your lap while you hang your purse on the armrest and put your drink in it’s rightful position. You’ll need all hands on deck for this next step.
3. Now, if your bag of popcorn is filled to the brim, it will be difficult to shake things up and achieve even distribution of the seasoning. So go right on ahead and enjoy some of that warm buttery popcorn sans seasoning for a few minutes before the trailers start (the best part of the movie). Fear not, you’ll still have ninety-percent of your popcorn left to drizzle with the magic fairy ketchup dust. So go on and enjoy that warm buttery taste.
4. When you’ve got enough room in the bag to shake it up without letting too many precious pieces overboard, crack open that package of seasoning and spread that love baby! But don’t dump it all at once. Spread it out along the top. Then put your seasoning in the side cup holder so that you can use both hands to shake that bag like your mama taught you. Try to get this done prior to the movie starts, or at the very least during a loud scene so that your fellow patrons don’t turn around and give you the stink eye. Once it’s been mixed around, then feel free to add more seasoning as per your personal taste. Just be careful not to add too much seasoning, or you’ll ruin the entire bag, and your movie experience.
Once you’ve got the perfect blend, put that seasoning away, sit back in your chair with your popcorn resting comfortably in your lap, and enjoy the show!