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#66 Post Party Puke



POST PARTY PUKE - You had another great Friday night. You let loose after a full week of work with your best gals. You had a few drinks, ate an entire bowl of your favourite snack mix, and danced it out hard on top of the bar. A few guys tried to flirt with you, with the high hopes of taking you home. But you weren’t having any of it. You put on your best ‘do NOT come hither eyes,’ and spent the night dancing away. By the time the bar tender announced last call, you and your ladies were starving and ready for your late-night eats. You head to your regular diner where you order the same thing you do every Friday night - poutine, which, if you don’t know because you’ve been living under a rock, is French fries covered in hot gravy and cheese curds that have melted due to the heat of the gravy. It’s the best thing man has invented. B


By the time you finish your food, it’s nearly two o’clock in the morning, you’re still slightly spinning from one too many drinks, and it’s time to get in a cab and go home.

You hail a ride with your sister, who is just as eager to get home because she’s had a few more drinks than you, and is looking a slight shade of green. Once you get in the cab, she’s pretty silent in the car, and has her head stuck out the window trying not to vomit. This works out well for you because you prefer not to have vomit chunks spewed all over you at the end of a fun evening. You’re halfway there yourself, so once she breaks the vomit seal, it will be all over for you. So you sit quietly on your side of the cab and wait to pull into the driveway.

Before the cab even comes to a full stop, your sister bolts out of the tax to make a run for it inside. You pay the driver and head in the front door where you find a trail of your sister’s shoes and clothes through the hallway and downstairs to the basement, where you eventually find her puking all over the bathroom - with the exception of the toilet. Do memories get any better than this?


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